I've been watching my weight go up and up, and watching my body inflate while my energy deflates. Lately all I've been thinking is "well, that was nice while it lasted". When my weight was on a downward slope, I loved going clothes shopping. I've never liked clothes shopping - digging through the racks to find my size, finding the perfect shirt, dress, pair of pants, whatever, and finding out they don't have my size (eventually, I just stopped bothering to look for my size), grunting and squirming in the dressing room to get into the next closest size and scrutinizing myself in the mirror: How well does this cover my fat rolls? Is my "quiche top" (much bigger than the muffin top) overflowing too much? What will this look like if I put on a tummy cincher? I went shopping with a friend this weekend and it was honestly a tearful experience. I was so upset that I had started to let myself go back to where I was. I can't go back to 256 lbs. I just can't. For my kids, for me, for all of us.
I joined Weight Watchers tonight. I'm hoping this will help get me back on track and back to where I need to be.
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